Excitement
by writeitloud
Summary: When you live your whole life knowing you are one of the most important people around, a lot of time is spent wondering what your life could have been like. How Arthur finds what excites him, not the future King everyone else sees. Better preview inside.
1. Take the Risk

**Summary:** When you live your whole life knowing you are one of the most important people around, a lot of time is spent wondering what your life could have been like. How Arthur finds what excites him, not the future King everyone else sees.

**Pairing: **Arthur/Merlin. Obviously, if you don't like it, don't read it. And just to be clear, these are two MALES. **Homophobics are not welcome.** Evolve. Use a condom and get over the _old_ societies morals. 21ST CENTURY LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! With high definition and surround sound. :)

**Yes, I'm aware I'm a gigantic smart ass.**

**Author's Note: **This is going to be a two or three shot. Not completely sure yet. I was going to have this longer, but I wanted to get it up before I go sit in a car for 15 or so hours tomorrow driving to Panama City, FL from VA Beach. Road Trip vacations with my mother, doesn't that just sound like a teenage daughter's dream come true? (Note Sarcasm.) Kill me now. Anyway, you don't really care. NO ACTUAL SMUT IN THIS FIRST CHAPTER, but read it anyway. _THE BUILD UP WILL BE WORTH IT. _Promise?

Also, first Merlin Fanfiction and it's written with very little sleep behind it, so sorry if you find it a little OOC.

**Rating: **M - To be safe. Semi-Sexual stuff. But no smut, yet. (Next Chapter? Pretty sure.) Also, kinda dark, but not really.

Please actually read all that? Sorry it's long. :/  
Love you guys.

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"Hey, Merlin?"

He turned his head to look at me the small grin always playing on his lips, still there with out fail. "Yea, Arthur?" Something about his voice is intoxicating.

"Can I ask you an odd question?" Breathe. In, out. In, out. Right.

"Sure," the grin wavered, and his face showed genuine concern. My heart twisted in my chest. In, out. In, out. "Is everything okay? You haven't seemed like yourself for a little while." He paused for a moment a then his joking grin appeared on his face, "Some of the new Knights of Camelot giving you trouble? Want me to bang some heads together." He let out a silent, yet cheerful laugh while punching his right hand into his left fist. Completely nonthreatening since he bent his fisted hand at the wrist.

"Merlin, don't be an idiot. I can handle my men. And they would all eat you alive in a second." I didn't mean to sound as harsh as I did, but Merlin seemed to shrink back and become slightly less like a friend, and more like a servant.

"Yes, well, what was it you wanted to ask me, Sire?" Yea, there's the wall. This isn't a question I want to ask my servant, Merlin. I want to ask my friend, Merlin.

"Nothing.. It is not important. You are free to go if you'd like." I looked at Merlin and showed no expression. The atmosphere seemed to fizzle, but I wasn't sure with what. Merlin looked like he was going to say something. He stayed frozen for a moment. Deciding, I think. I wanted him to say something. Anything. I just wanted him to stay. Because the moment he left, I knew I'd feel everything crumbling in around me. I'd feel lonely.

He didn't say anything. My heart tightened again. Harder though. It was physical pain this time. I let out a small gasp to Merlin's back as he was gathering my now empty tray of what had been dinner. He didn't hear me and was soon out the door with it closing behind him. I laid down onto my bed and stared at the ceiling with my hands behind my head. I didn't move for awhile. I was about to drift to sleep when I heard a knock on the door.

I knew that knock and it made a smile dance foolishly on my lips. I sat up and mumbled something along the lines of 'come in'. The door opened and Merlin peered inside. "Gaius sent me back he said you had requested some medicine for a shoulder pain and you were to take a small swallow of this every night before bed."

I nodded and Merlin placed it on the table next to my bed, eying me with caring suspicion. I didn't look at him and just studied the floor until he spoke again. "Yes, well, sorry to disturb you getting ready for sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, Sire." He was walking toward the door, with his back to me when I looked up to him. My heart did yet another painful twist and I decided to speak up.

"Merlin, I changed my mind."

He stopped right before his hand touched the door and turned slowly with his head bent down slightly. "Yes, Sir. I'll take it back to Gaius right way then. Sorry for-"

"No, not _that._" I spat at him. I would almost swear that he flinched. I grimaced at that thought. "Can I ask you a question?" I repeated the request again.

"Yes, Sire. Of course." Merlin nodded quickly as he said this.

"I'm not asking you as a servant. I'm asking as a friend." I held my breath after I said this. I didn't know what came over me. I just said that, before thinking. And I couldn't take it back now. It wasn't like I didn't mean it.

Merlin seemed to relax and let out a breath. He finally stood straighter and looked up at me. "You can ask me anything you want to," he said this sincerely, but without sounded overly sentimental.

Breathe. In, out. In, out. I paused. Everything seemed still except my mind and heart going a thousand miles an hour. "Do you ever wish your life was completely different?"

"Not especially. I like who I am." He smiled when he said this.

"Not who you are exactly." I paused, I didn't want to sound sharp like I had before. "Do you ever just feel like your waiting for something to come along and drastically change you life almost instantly?"

"Yes, well, sort of." Merlin paused this time, but then a questioning look crossed his face. "Why are you asking this, Sire? Has something happened?" I would have sworn in that moment he was sincerely scared and caring for me.

"No.." I let my voice trail off though before I asked a different question. "Are you ever scared that your going to spend your whole life just waiting for that something exciting to happen?"

"I'm scared everyday that I'll wait forever.." I knew there was more to what he said right then. I didn't know what, but I knew it was important. "Is that why you asked? Are you scared you're going to spend your whole life waiting for something?" There was something there too, but I didn't catch what.

"Sort of.." I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say. If someone had told me this morning that I would be having this conversation with _Merlin_, I would have told them they were insane. This wasn't like either of us. Yet in a way it also was. But here we were. And I'm not bothered at all. I want to talk to him about this.. "When I was little, I always knew when I grew up I would become king. I would be part of everything big and exciting happening. But now, I'm almost there, and it doesn't feel like that's what it's important." I stopped again. That wasn't right.

"I mean I know it's important. And I look forward to taking care of my people. But it doesn't feel like that's what is important to me, Arthur. That's what is important to future King Arthur." I looked up at Merlin now. He was sitting next to me on the side of my bed, staring at me intently. I'd expected him to be looking at me like I was nuts. But he didn't. He looked like he understood. I let my glance fall slightly.

"I think that what is important to you personally, will happen when you do something to make it happen." I knew right then what it was that was so important. And I knew what I had to do to get it. But it scared me more that before. Knowing what it was, and knowing it was impossible, made my heart cringe and bury further into my chest. It didn't hurt, though. I felt like a statue. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I just stared at Merlin. I felt cold. And stuck. Like I was stuck and would never move again. Merlin's face fell to more concern and I moved my eyes to look more specifically at him again.

He gave me a half smile and I melted. I could move again. "Yea, maybe you're right," I practically whispered. His half hearted smile then spread to cover his face with joy. "What?" I said puzzled.

"I think you just gave me a small form of a compliment." He laughed a very quiet laugh, that was just between us.

I gave him a small smile and said, "Hey, I only said, maybe."

He gave another small laugh and then let his smile get small. "Well, you should try it," he said, "When you feel like doing something that you think will have consequences, don't think about it. Just do it. Because even when that bad does happen, the good, personal and just for you, that may or may not come, is completely worth it."

I didn't say anything. There was nothing I could say. This was about doing something. But I couldn't. "Maybe you just need that one event that'll change everything," Merlin meant everything he was saying. And he was completely right. But I couldn't have what I wanted. I already knew the out come of the risk. I'm sure of it.

"What if I wait forever and this moment and great action that I should do, never comes?" The second I said this, I regretted it. I knew exactly what Merlin's reply would be.

"You gotta make the drastic change. The one great move." He stood up then and my gaze followed him. He seemed so tall from where I was sitting on the bed. "Only you know what that move is." He simply stood there looking at me. Wearing my favorite small crooked smile.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Merlin cocked his head to side and I felt my heart twist again. This time it was good though. This time it was longing.

"For telling me what I needed to hear." I stood up and placed my hands on each side of Merlin's neck. His skin was warm and soft to the touch. My thumbs were each placed on lightly on the front of his adorable ears. I inched toward him and our lips lightly skimmed each others. I held us there for a moment. Neither of us moved. My eyes were closed, but I could smell him. It was intoxicating. Our mouths were so close I could taste him. But I didn't move. I didn't breath.

This was my last moment before the drastic change. There was no going back now, but I was slightly fearful of what was ahead. This was the moment that would decide happiness or loneliness. This was an end and a beginning. This was my pulse ringing in my ears and all self control to stop me from shaking. This was it. All or nothing. This was everything.

Merlin leaned forward and time restarted again. His hands came up and met my sides. I let one hand drop from his neck to drift down his chest and then around to his back. We pulled each other close and everything else faded. Our lips and tongues intertwined and danced with each other mercilessly. The kiss was so strong, and needed. So firm it almost hurt. But I didn't care. Then we pulled away and breathed.

The world was still here. No one died. Nothing had changed, but everything was different.

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Reviews are appreciated, but not required for the next chapter.

Thank you in advance. :)


	2. Take the Truth

******Author's Note: **5039 WORDS OF PURE STORY! This is the longest chapter I have ever written. And probably my favorite. Next chapter will be the last, I'm pretty sure. And if the flirting seems a little out of character, lemme know, but I didn't think so.

Love you guys. 3

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The light was mercilessly invading the territory behind my eye lids. It hurt. I groaned and rolled over, not wanting to awaken yet. I pulled a thin blanket that was around me up over my face. After a deep sigh of relief I was drifting back to sleep. I felt the slow moment slipping by inside my blank mind. I was very content and wanted to stay like this awhile longer.

"Oh, no you don't." I heard one of my favorite voices speaking gently in my ear. Someone annoyingly pulled down the blanket over my head and I let out another groan, only this one was filled with more agitation than before. "You need to get up, Arthur." The voice waited, and when I didn't respond there was a sigh.

Then the blanket was pulled off completely. "I told your father that you had a headache so I was going to give you your breakfast in bed before you prepared for the day." I rubbed my eyes and blinked until the world around me came into focus. Merlin was carrying a tray filled with food. I pulled my legs up underneath me so he could sit it on the bed in front of me.

"Thank you, Merlin." I grumbled, though I still wished I was asleep. Merlin nodded and responded with another pleasantry before turning his back to leave the room. That really woke me up, because I had a longing to not let him leave. Last night, which had been sitting in the back of my mind sprang forward. "Where do you think you are going?" I said to Merlin who stopped and turned to me with an expression that made my body tingle all over. I let a similar smile spread across my face as he stood there, waiting for me to say something.

"Have breakfast with me, Merlin. I.. enjoy your company," I said, even though I really wanted to order him to spend all day long with me lying in bed, talking, and kissing, and holding each other. He just blushed and sat down on the opposite side of the tray from me. "Make yourself comfortable." I gave him the most charmingly smile I possessed and was rewarded with a heart melting grin.

"How did you sleep last night?" My first thought was to tell him it would have been much better if he had stayed with me and not insisted that he had to get back or Gaius would worry. I didn't though and just shrugged.

He seemed to pick up on my slight disappointment that he hadn't stayed and quickly said, "I'm sorry." After a short pause and a deep breath he said, "I missed you too though."

We shared another smile and small laugh and the wall that had always found a way between us, crumbled down. "You should eat. You have a big day ahead of you," Merlin looked down to my tray for emphasis. I grabbed hold of a grape and plopped it in my mouth so he would turn his eyes back to mine.

I let out a relaxing breath when he did, but it got stuck in my throat when the smile he gave me had something sad about it. "What is wrong?" I demanded quickly. My body suddenly felt heavy but like my stomach was climbing up my throat to sit in my mouth.

Merlin just shook his head and forced his smile more. "Nothing. You have a very busy day, and so do I. There is a lot of work to be done for you and Gaius. And you have a full day of training with the knights. We will talk tonight," he stopped but then as if remembering our rolls in society he added, "If that's alright?"

"Yes, of course." I decided it was best to wait till then, rather than try and force Merlin to talk about whatever it was now. Merlin simply nodded and stood, preparing to leave the room again. Right before he closed the door behind him, I had a brilliant idea. "Merlin!" He poked his head back in the door.

"Yes, Sire?" I playful smile was back on his face. It helped me relax a little, but the worry was still filling my body.

"Tell Gaius that you won't be back tonight because you will be cleaning equipment very late for me. If that's okay with you of course?" It only took a moment for the realization of what I really meant to cross Merlin's face.

If possible, his smile grew. "Yes, sire." And he was gone with the door shut behind him.

- | -

The day was a blur. Not because it was overly exciting, or busy enough to where time when by quickly. The day was slow. Slow and painful, and all I could think about was what would happen tonight; with Merlin.

I ran every scenario that I could think of through my head. But I knew it wouldn't turn out any of the ways I thought. It was a gut feeling. It was exciting for sure. Not knowing what was coming. But also painfully frightening.

It was only yesterday, when I had never experienced real fear before. Only now with the excitement, there is tons of it. It builds up inside of you until you think you'll burst or deflate. Part of me screamed to run away from seeing him tonight. But the dominate part of me knew that was the worst thing at all that could happen. Not seeing him. The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine as I turned the door into my room.

Laying on the bed I felt sore and stiff. Sparing with the knights hadn't brought be the high it usually does. Not to mention, they all seemed to find the worse day of my life so far, to be completely incompetent. My patience ran out in the first hour. I sighed and sat up, starting to peel off the armor and change for dinner with my father. Merlin got me out of it last night as well as this morning, but I knew I couldn't skip three meals in a row. Not if I wanted a peaceful night for the two of us.

A few minutes later I was dressed in the appropriate attire, yet my mind was as blank as a sheet. I felt tired and my shoulder was throbbing. I needed to get my control back. Looking in the mirror, I looked like hell.

Gaius had said to only take the medicine for my shoulder before bed. But it hurt too bad, I needed it now. I took a small swallow from the bottle when the door opened. Merlin gave me a look saying, "busted." But I just rolled my eyes.

"You're only supposed to take that before bed." He scolded out loud.

"Well my shoulder hurts now, and I'm exhausted and don't feel like putting up with it and my father."

Merlin just sighed, "Well your about to get even more tired. That stuff is strong, Arthur! Gaius said it makes you sleepy as a side effect." I groaned. Terrific. Just what I needed. I laid back on the bed with my hands behind my head. I tried to stifle a yawn, but failed miserably. My eye lids were feeling heavy already. "No, no, no!" Merlin grabbed a hold of each my hands and pulled me upright.

With my feet hanging off the side of the bed and me rubbing my eyes, he sat down next to me. "I don't know if I can get you out of another meal with your father. But I could try.." He didn't sound keen on being the one to tell my father I was missing yet another meal. And if he was going to try and get me out of dinner, why didn't he want me to fall asleep?

I just shook my head and forgot the questions. "No, I'm up. I'm fine." I stood up and started walking towards the door. Before I closed it behind me I said, "Will you, uh, be here? When I get back, I mean." I looked down at my hands nervously after I said this, but stole a peek at Merlin from underneath my hair.

He smiled and that perked me up a little bit. "I have a few things to deliver for Gaius, but when I'm done I'll come back here and wait for you to finish dinner with the King." He paused but then continued in a more formal tone, "I will get started on cleaning that equipment right away."

I turned my head up completely and smiled at him, "Thank you, Merlin," I turn and left with the door to my room ajar. As I made my way to the dining hall, where my father was sure to already be waiting, my mind wandered back to this morning. There was something Merlin wasn't telling me. And after dinner I was determined to find out what.

With one last deep breath I stepped into the dining room. Morgana, my father, and a few servants were the only ones in the room. "Ah, how nice of my son to finally join us," Uther spoke to the whole room.

Morgana smiled at me. At first look I thought it was genuine but then I saw a hidden smirk. It said, "I know something you don't want me to know." I smiled shortly back at her and mumbled an apology to my father.

"I was beginning to think your incompetent servant was going to show up and tell us you weren't coming again. It's not nice to keep a lady waiting you know." He just loves to pour it on thick doesn't he, I thought to myself.

"Well in my defense, I didn't know Morgana was joining us."

"I mentioned it to Merlin, but he must have had other things on his mind." She poorly hid a smirk in her wine glass. I sent her a glare as a servant placed my meal in front of me.

After I mumbled a thank you to him, Uther had a look on his face that told me what he was going to say before he said it. "Perhaps we should find some one more efficient to work for you, Arthur. There really is no excuse for poor work, day after day. It's like he doesn't even try."

"I'd beg to differ, father. He tries very hard. And there has been quite an improvement. When did you tell Merlin you were going to join us, Morgana? I haven't seen him since he brought me my breakfast this morning."

Morgana gave me a look that said she knew I was lying, but knew it was for Merlin's sake and wouldn't argue. "Well, that explains it. I only told him a few hours ago."

Uther seemed to except this explanation. "Still. If you want a replacement, just let me know."

"Thank you, father, but I like Merlin. I can trust him." He just nodded and went back to his food. Morgana's gaze lingered on me for a moment or two longer than necessary, but then she too turned her gaze back down to her plate.

After a few more minutes of small talk, my father excused himself to his bed quarters for the night, saying he had a lot to do in the morning. Morgana and I stood up to watch him go, and the servants came and cleared the plates.

"Would you mind walking me back to my room, Arthur? I have.. something I want to discuss with you." Her smirk told me not say no, even though I really wanted to get back to my own room, in case Merlin gave up and went to his own bed.

Holding back a yawn I nodded and led her out of the dining hall. For a little while we walked in silence through the castle until she said, "So you and Merlin, huh?" I just simply stared at her shocked into silence. She laughed at me lightly. "Well it's about time you noticed what had been going on between you two. I was beginning to think you two would stay oblivious to it forever."

"H-How did you know?" The words stumbled out of my mouth. I didn't discover all this in myself until last night. Was Merlin the same way or had he known on some level? And how long had it been obvious to Morgana? No doubt her and Gwen had been gossiping about this for some time then..

"That you guys felt that way about each other? The way you would always look for him in the room. And those adorable little grins you have just for each other. Two sides of the same coin, you two are." She nodded and smiled to herself as if it were an joke I wasn't in on.

"So Merlin just went right to you and told you all about it?"

She laughed at me like I was making a joke. "Oh, please. You know how close him and Gwen are."

Then finishing her silent thought I said, "And I know how how close you and Gwen are." She gave me a small smile that might have meant something a little more, but I wasn't sure and just let it go. A short silence fell between us again as we walked along.

She stopped at a window to look up to the sky. "It's a beautiful night," she said, but I had a feeling it was more to herself than me. Slipping me hands in my pockets I stood next to her. She was right. The sky was exceptionally clear and the stars were beautiful. I couldn't help but with I was here with Merlin instead. Maybe I would be able to convince him to go for a walk tonight when I got back.

"Well, let's get me back to my room. I think you have plans for this evening."

I knew she was smirking even though her was back to me, making her way down the hall. A few quick steps to catch up to her and she spoke again, "Can I give you a piece of advice, Arthur?"

"Something tells me I don't have a choice," I told her, even though I wanted to hear what she had to say. She knew that too though. We had known each other for a very long time after all.

"You're right. You don't." She sighed. "Don't screw it up."

"What?" I didn't want to shout at her, but she was acting like I was going to do something wrong on purpose.

"Calm down, don't loose your temper at me, Mister. I just mean, with Merlin, don't screw it up. You've always had a way of treating people that go to bed with you differently after. And don't you lie to me, I know what you guys have is different than anything you've had going with some one before."

She stopped as if deciding if she should tell me what she wanted to. "Just say it." I clenched my jaw.

"You aren't just the prince and he's not just your servant. You are friends. You haven't had many of those in your life. But Merlin cares about you. It's obvious. He's risked his life for you and you for him. It's a bond. Don't let it go, okay?"

I smiled at her, "Thank you, Morgana."

Anytime. She gave me a short hug and opened the door to her room. As I turned back down the hall, I could have sworn I heard her say, "Gwen, you waited up for me," with a smile in her voice.

Merlin, was my only thought after that as I ran through the halls back to my room. I slowed down to a walk near my door and walked in. Looking at my bed and around in there was no one here. I sighed, disappointed and closed the door behind my back.

I lifted my shirt over my head and lay it on the end of the bed. "So much for that," I muttered, pitying myself.

Then out of the corner of my eye I noticed a sleeping Merlin, with his head propped in his head, asleep on a chair in the corner behind me. I smiled and stood there watching him. He looked peaceful, but sleeping in that position was bound to be uncomfortable.

I coughed, unnecessarily into my fist and Merlin shot up, eyes wide. "Woah, I'm sorry. I didn't know how to wake you. I didn't want you to sleep in there uncomfortably all night."

He smiled at me, but then seemed to notice I wasn't wearing a shirt and his cheeks turned red. "I didn't notice you sleeping there when I first came in," I explained, "So I started to get ready for bed thinking you'd given up and gone back to Gaius'."

"Oh, no, I was just waiting up till you got back, but I was so tired, I must of dosed off. I'm sorry," he said with an apologetic smile and scratched the back of his head, ruffling up his hair.

"Don't apologize, Merlin. You work hard." The blush spread to the top of his ears at the compliment and I stood up and stepped toward him. Gently I placed one hand on his neck with the tip of my thumb resting just behind his ear. I leaned forward and kissed him softly. His lips responded to mine as they intertwined with each other. One hand came to rest on the wrist attached to my hand on his neck and the other pressed flat against my back, pulling us closer.

I never wanted to leave this position, but we had to pull back and breathe. "Why don't we go for a walk? The sky is beautiful tonight." He nodded with my favorite grin and grabbed my shirt from behind me and held it out. I took it and slid it back over my head.

Within a few minutes we were outside the castle, walking around in the grass, looking at the miles of grass and mountains all around us. I yawned loudly stepping closer to Merlin, and taking his hand in mine. He smiled at me, and a spark of electricity passed between us.

"Oh, I forgot!" Merlin said suddenly. "You must be exhausted, after your day, and the medicine for your shoulder you took. You're the prince. You deserve sleep." He was firm with his last two sentences.

I just smiled at him. "This walk was my idea, remember? I like being here with you." I blushed, but hoped he couldn't see it in the darkness. "You were tired too. Don't you want sleep?"

He sighed contently, "No. I want to be here with you too." Soon enough, we resumed walking. It seemed to go by quick, but as far as we were away from the castle, we must have been walking for an hour. Talking, and laughing, we settled onto a hill and just looked up at the sky.

A comfortable silence fell over us for awhile. A shooting star passed over the sky, and I closed my eyes to make a wish. Only, I didn't know what to wish for. I felt better than I had in a really long time. I didn't feel alone anymore.

I turned my head towards Merlin and watched him watch the stars. I studied his face. His eyes shined a vibrant blue and his skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. His nose and mouth, perfectly shaped and sized on his face. His adorable ears, that made him look like a little boy when he grinned. Just thinking about it made butterflies in my stomach.

I guess Merlin could feel my gaze on him cause he turned to look at me too. I smiled at him, but he didn't smile back. A serious look on his face; he rolled onto his side and held up his head on a fist, with his elbow and upper arm on the ground. I mimicked his motions and put my spare hand on the side of his face lightly. "What's wrong?" I whispered, he was making me very worried.

Thinking back to what Morgana had said, I silently wondered if I'd already done something to screw up things. I was scared.

Merlin leaned his head into my hand and closed his eyes. I just waited for him to be ready to tell me whatever it was. I could wait all night, if that's what he wanted. I wasn't going anywhere, no matter what.

Taking me by surprise though, he reached both his hands out and grabbed the side of my face and pulled me towards him. The kiss was fast and desperate, but filled with passion from both of us. He pulled me on top of him and pulled all my weight down towards him. My right leg, resting in between his I felt both of us starting to get excited. Merlin, moaned into my mouth when I nipped light at his tongue.

With an idea, I gently ran my finger across the sensitive skin behind my ear. Merlin's entire body shivered beneath mine and I pulled myself closer to him, feeling heat of our bodies building up between us. "Arthur.." He groaned into my mouth and I didn't slow down. Gently, pulling my finger through the knot on his handkerchief tied around his neck and let it fall on the grass next to us.

He started to push up against the bottom of my shirt. Reaching down and breaking the kiss for only a moment I pulled it up over my head in one swift movement, for the second time in Merlin's presence tonight. I moaned this time as our mouths reconnected. Pulling up the bottom of his shirt, it quickly joined the growing pile of clothes next to us.

Taking control, Merlin pushed me off him and onto my back next to him. I groaned and he straddled my hips with his. "Sorry, baby," he whispered onto my lips. _Baby, _Merlin called me baby, and I liked it. Holding my shoulders there, he taunted me for a moment, holding his lips just out of reach for mine. Seeing the lust in my eyes though, his soon brought themselves down to mine, hard. It hurt, but in such a good way.

Our hands skimmed up and down each other's arms and chest, touching every where we could. Our hips ground together. The moans became so constant I couldn't tell which one of us they were coming from. Every sound, every touch, all of it seemed to be intensified. It was amazing. Like rolling in ecstasy.

Flipping Merlin over, so I was now straddling him. I held his head in my hands, and his hands on my back. My nose and forehead, even with his, we held each other. Listening to our heavy breathing, and smelling Merlin on me was intoxicating.

My eyes open, looking straight into his, and I saw tears beginning to form. Then they just fell without warning. One after the other, and sobs shaking his entire body beneath me. It was like he could control himself. He pushed me off, to lay next to him. He held onto me so tight, it was like if he let go he would die. I pushed his head onto my chest and held him against me, my own tears falling silently.

Gripping him just as tightly, I whispered into his hear over and over, "It's okay. I'm right here. I'm not going any where." Over and over, nothing seemed to register. His shaking got even worse, and I just held him tighter, until my arms hurt. But I still didn't loosen my grip. His arms continued to grab at my back and I just let the keep pulling me closer, ignoring the pain in my shoulder. "Merlin, shh. It's alright. I'm right here." I didn't even know if he could hear me, but I couldn't stop talking to him. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Merlin. I won't go anywhere. We'll stay here as long as you need me. Please, talk to me."

His shaking lessened and he lifted his head from where it was buried in my chest. When his gaze met mine I pulled him closer. His eyes were completely blood shot and his face drowning in tears. The center color of his eyes we're still shining bright in the moonlight though. His lips still quivered as he spoke in a shaky voice, "Promise me. Promise me you won't change your mind when you see it. Promise me."

I lost my breath the moment the words left his mouth. He thought I would go somewhere? What could happen that would make him think that I would leave him? He was so important to me. "I promise," I said firmly, with both my hands gripping the sides of his face, forcing him to look at the seriousness in my eyes.

Then I felt a pain surge into my back. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. I saw Merlin's eyes go wide and light surge in them and it was like a bubble put up around us. Eerily quiet, we staggered to our feet, and turned to see a woman, a few feet away from us. Merlin was saying something quietly, staring at the woman with not a single kind feature in his face.

I had never seen him like this. The bubble around us faded and his arms shot out towards the woman. Blue flames spread down his arms and off his hands and engulfed the woman. In second she was gone, and all that was left was a pile of ash.

Merlin fell onto his knees, and he wavered there for a moment. I reached out and steadied him. He mumbled something again under his breath and he seemed to find some new strength and stood up. He stood in front of me, his arms out to each side and search around us again and again. After the 3 spin, he seemed satisfied there wasn't going to be another attack.

His eyes met mine, "Are you hurt?" He said it firmly and grabbed my shoulders to turn me and look at my back. I was unharmed and my skin no longer felt like it was being ripped apart.

I pushed his hands off of me and stared at him with my jaw clenched. "What are you?" I growled. Merlin swallowed, hurt by my tone and words. "You're.. You're a sorcerer." I spat the word at him and he flinched. "You're evil." I repeated the words that my father had ground into me since the day I was born. I wanted to run away, but stay and hold Merlin in my arms more. I didn't know. I was torn.

I didn't know what was right anymore.

Merlin was looking at something behind me in surprise. I turned and my gaze met Morgana's. She was dressed in night clothes. "I had another dream, Merlin. I tried to show it to you. Did she attack, Arthur?"

"Wait a second. How do you know about the woman? What do you mean you dreamed it?" I was screaming at them both, and they both just stared at me like I was the one who had lit the woman on fire. "Tell me what the hell is going on!" I was fuming.

"I was born with powerful magic," Merlin said slowly, studying everything I did. "I've been protecting you from magical threats since we met. It's my destiny to protect you. You are the man meant to restore magic to Camelot. It is your destiny to be the greatest king of Camelot."

I just stared. Merlin took a step towards me, and I took a step back. His face filled with hurt, and he didn't move towards me again. His head just fell to look at the ground. "Uther is wrong, Arthur," Morgana's voice was firm, "He means well, but he has poisoned your mind. Magic is not evil. There is a lot you don't know about."

"Merlin has saved your life many times since he arrived in Camelot. Uther's too." Her voice was serious, but light. Something only Morgana could do in a time like this.

"Magic killed my mother," I growled in defense.

"She made a deal," Merlin spoke up again. "She gave her life for you to be born. She didn't tell your father of the price, but she knew it." He wouldn't look at me. I'd hurt him so badly, after I just promised him I wouldn't leave him. He still stared at the ground as he spoke. Tears were forming in my eyes, and I looked away from him. I looked at Morgana, but she only nodded her head towards Merlin, and turned walking back towards the castle.

Guilt, confusion, and adrenaline were racing through my veins. I walked over to Merlin slowly. Clenching and unclenching my fists. Not until I was right in front of him did I notice his tears and mine.

"I'm sorry. I'll just need time to figure all this out." I didn't know what else to do, so I kissed the tear falling down his cheek and walked back toward the castle. The pain inside me taking over. I could taste his tear on my lips. I could still feel Merlin's arms around me, and that was all I had left to hold onto.

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Please review if you have the time.

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	3. Take the Excitement

**Author's Note: **I am SO sorry I did not have this sooner! :( My muse was just not with me the past two weeks. I don't like the beginning of this. I might have made Arthur too needy. And I may have fucked up, when I was doing so well at keeping them in character. Maybe? I dunno. I couldn't judge. So lemme know what you think ? Love you guys.

**ALSO**, as soon as I post this, I'm going to answer all your reviews. :)

3,776 words of story.

This is the last chapter.

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I refused to get out of bed. Mostly because I didn't think that I could. By the time I'd gotten back to my chambers in the castle, the sun was faintly visible in the distance, and I felt sick. A look in the mirror told me anyone who laid eyes on me would draw the same conclusion. Pale and sweaty, I had black shadows under both my eyes. _This is what I would probably look like dead_, I told myself.

It felt like my entire body was over heating, except where that woman had attacked me on my back. I could still feel exactly where her magic had hit me. It was freezing cold, even though there was no visible scar.

But the painful cold wasn't as bad as the heat. I felt like I was radiating. It seemed my entire body had red flames dancing on top of my skin. My pulse was so powerful is shook my entire body. With each thump I could feel my temperature increase; like dry wood added to the flames.

A servant had showed up to inquire why I hadn't been to breakfast. Thankfully, my father hadn't been there either. When he'd seen me he insisted that he go fetch Gaius, but neither had showed up yet. It had probably only been 10 minutes, but it felt like much longer. God, the heat. It was horrible.

I tried to focus on other things, but my mind. It was like a fog was right in front on my eyes and I couldn't move to see past it. _Merlin_, I thought. Right, Merlin. The lying scum bag that I love. I felt so angry. But if I focused on that, the heat just moved faster. I felt like I was going to die.

_You are going to die, _I heard me tell myself in the back of my head. Merlin. I wanted to see him. To talk to him. I wanted to tell him I love him. I needed him to know that I forgive him. Before I die, I had to see Merlin.

_Get up. It isn't that hard. Just get up, don't be so pathetic,_ I told myself. My legs burned as they scratched against the sheet. They they felt heavy and weak as I lifted them off the bed. I was still in my clothes from last night, which saved me from having to change. I'd need to sneak out of the castle. I could probably make it to Gaius' within a few hours, at the pace I was moving. Hopefully Merlin would be there. Maybe he could help me. If he wanted to.

Staggering towards the door, I slipped into my shoes. I felt more sweat spread over my body. Heat was pulsing into me with every step. My back wasn't chilling anymore, it just stung. Like a knife in an old wound.

Everything seemed to blur.

And then I was standing in front of Gaius' door.

_How long had it taken me to get here?_ It looked like the sun was starting to fade. It must have been hours. Slow as I had been moving and having to hide every time someone came down the hall, it wasn't too surprising. I remembered arguing with a servant and managing a few creative and meaningful threats that got the job done.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to focus. Sighing I knocked on the door. It slowly pushed forward and I noticed it wasn't closed all the way. Gaius didn't appear to be here as I made my way to Merlin's room. The door was ajar and he wasn't in it. His bed unslept in, although the rest of the room was in disarray, it appeared as if he hadn't been here at all.

I sighed and walked back the way I came in. I would just wait until Merlin or Gaius returned. I let my limbs fall limp in the chair I plopped myself into. Rubbing my eyes and blinking I tried to make the room around me clear again, but no matter how hard I tried everything was still in a daze. My cheeks felt wet and I realized I was crying. Sobbing. Merlin. Where was he? I'd give anything to see him.

I deserve it. I'm not supposed to die now. Merlin and I were finally falling together. I was almost prepared to take the thrown. I'm not ready to die because it's not my time. Merlin said I was destined for great things so why should I die now? It's not right and it's not fair! Whatever was on the other side, I'm going to give them hell.

I just wanted more time with him. I'll never get to tell him how much I love him. And that I don't care if he's a wizard. I'll never get to do so many things with him, that people in love do. I'll never get to show him the world I wanted for us. I'll never get to show him what he means to me. I'll never hold him in my arms again. I'll never kiss him again. Without any of that, I didn't want to live anymore at all. Just take me now if nothing is left for Merlin and I.

Then I saw the note. At first I thought it would be from Merlin. In case I came by maybe? But it wasn't his writing. And he would of left a note for me in his room. It had to be from Gaius. I squinted at the writing, trying make the blurriness fade enough to see the writing.

_Merlin, whenever you return, take this bottle to Arthur. It's for his shoulder pain._

A blue bottle was sitting next to the note and as I looked outside the sun was almost gone. The sky a soft, beautiful pink. Why hadn't Merlin brought me the vile? Did he really not want to see me that bad? No. His room hadn't been slept in at all. Merlin hadn't come back last night.

Had he gone somewhere else? A lump crawled into my throat at the thought he'd gone to someone else's bed. Merlin. Where are you?

Where would you go? I needed you. I needed to see you, hold you. I had to know you were okay. I closed my eyes. Trying to think. To focus. _Merlin, Merlin, Merlin.._ I thought so hard it hurt.

I thought of his crooked grin and the way his hair would fall into his eyes when he looked down trying to hide when he blushed. I thought of how he looked asleep upright in the chair in my quarters. I thought of how he drank the poisoned goblet, just to prove it was poisoned. _Merlin has saved your life many times since he arrived in Camelot, _I heard Morgana's words echo in my mind.

I thought of how Merlin would stumble and trip over air when hunting in the woods. How he sounded and they way his eyes looked when he said my name. I remembered the way his hands felt on my skin; the way his hips felt against mine. I could feel him sobbing against my chest. I remembered all the promises I made just to calm him.

I felt his lips against mine. I could taste him. I could smell and feel his breath against my skin. I felt his arms around me, and then it was like plunging into water.

I saw white and I felt like I was falling up.

It wasn't painful, but I thought I might puke. Like I was being ripped from my body and then falling back into it somewhere else, although I didn't quite fit. I was laying down in the grass. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. My muscles wouldn't work.

I was breathing and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I wasn't dead yet. I tried to open my eyes again. It felt like the weight of the world was on them, but slowly I pushed them open. I saw the sky, and started to feel cool air brushing around me.

My body was still on fire. Okay, _fingers_, I thought to myself. I could feel them there, but they were stiff to move, like a statue. Time seemed to just keep going by, my eyes started to open and close on there own, and eventually I was sitting up. I shivered against the cold breeze on my skin, and I realized the heat was gone.

It seemed like the first time I'd been awake in a long time. I yawned and looked around. I was in the same field from last night with Merlin. It felt like that night was a lifetime ago. _Merlin, _I thought. I wanted to see him so bad, every nerve in my body felt pain and my heart twisted in my chest.

The moon was shining bright, but it wasn't a clear night. Clouds hid a lot of the stars. It didn't smell like rain although the air was wet.

I wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes; only pants. I sat like that for awhile. Unmoving, just staring up at the sky. I wondered how I got here. It didn't feel like I'd walked. I couldn't of without shoes. It must have been magic. Magic? Was I going to be attacked again?

No. Merlin had killed the sorceress. But who else would know of this place? Of course. Merlin. My brain was working so slow. I tried to stand. I fell.

I decided I would craw up the hillside. It was slow work. Making my arms and legs work at the same time. I felt like a baby learning everything over again. The hill was eerily familiar. Just as beautiful as it had been the night before, but it had a strange sense of danger about it now. Something was off. The grass and sky has a different glow. The closer I got to the stop of the hill the more fear beat through my veins.

Close to where the ground started to level out, I froze. About 10 yards away, someone was laying down. I needed to stand. I tried again. Already on my knees, I got one foot flat on the ground. I swayed, but didn't fall. After the other one was placed a few inches from it I started to straighted at the knees. Wobbly and weak, I managed to get up and straighten my back.

I was afraid if I fell I wouldn't be able to get back up again. Cautiously, I walked towards the still figure. I don't know how long it took me, but I know it took more energy than I thought I had.

My eye sight was still blurry as I tried to figure out what I was seeing. The man seemed to be asleep. Annoyingly slow I made my way towards the body. My brain seemed to be back to normal speed, but my body wasn't. A little at a time I got more stable and more strength. Then it was if everything started moving at a normal speed again. It was Merlin laying on the ground.

I ran forward and almost lost my balance. Collapsing on my knees next to him, I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and shook him harshly. He didn't move and his eyes didn't open. I screamed his name until my voice cracked. I pulled him into my arms and rocked him back and forth. His body was warm and I could feel his chest rising and falling. "Merlin, Merlin, Merlin.." I whispered in his ear. "I love you.. please, come back to me." Since I'd met Merlin, he was always underneath me in one way or another. I'd always somewhat commanded him to do things, even if I requested it with a question. This was different though.

This time I was begging with everything I had.

And it seemed to work. He made a sort of chocking sound as laid him back on the ground. Peering over him, I saw him slowly open his eyes. "Thank god," I breathed.

It wasn't until Merlin opened his eyes completely that I noticed the dark circles against his unusually pale skin. Merlin struggled to sit up, but I pushed him back down. "Arthur, we need make our way back to the castle, but I can't do it without you," His voice was weak, but serious.

"No," I told him flat out, "You're too weak, just rest for a minute." Merlin looked at me with anger and even slight disgust as he pushed himself up again. Only this time he also pushed away from me and I could feel the hurt swell up in my chest. "God, Arthur. I don't know why I keep hoping you'll change.."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I felt anger flaring up in me, but I couldn't help it, my pride had a habit of always getting in the way.

"Exactly what I said." Merlin stumbled to his feet with a glare and started making his way back to the castle, but he only made it a few feet before he tumbled back to his knees on the ground.

I rushed to his side and saw him trying to mask his pain is his face. "Don't touch me, Arthur," Merlin said as I knelt down to help him up. "If you can't trust me, than I want nothing from you."

"What?" I stammered. "Merlin.. Just tell me what's wrong?"

"You. This. Whatever the hell is between us, I think I'm finally figuring out that it's not what I want it to be." I know hurt crossed my face, and I saw the same pain on Merlin's. His gaze fell from my face and his chest deflated, his anger gone as quickly as it had came. "You don't trust me," he said softly, "And I don't know what else I can do to earn it."

"Merlin," I mumbled, reaching down to hold his hand. "Merlin, I love you," sadness seeped into my voice despite my efforts to hide it.

I saw his bottom lip tremble but no trace of tears when he said, "But I need you to trust me." He looked back up at me, waiting for me to say something, anything.

"I know," I paused. I was trying, didn't he understand how hard this was for me? Magic killed my mother, whether she knew about it or not, doesn't change the fact that I never knew her. I would do anything to have known her.. "I do trust you, I just need time to adjust to this, okay?"

Merlin fell back to sit on the grass. His face was expressionless, but his eyes, they were sad; sad and tired. "Adjust to the magic, or adjust to us?" He couldn't even look at me.

I breath stuck in my chest and I couldn't move. Did Merlin really think I didn't want to be with him? I wanted to be with him more than I wanted anything in my life. It is more significant to me than my pride, or my social standing. Merlin is more important to me than my own life. Slowly, but surely, so that there was no mistake in what I was about to do, I leaned in to kiss Merlin.

Our lips only grazed at first as I slid my hand behind his neck. Merlin's eyes were closed, but I kept mine open. I studied every curve of his face. A small smile tilted the corners of my mouth upward as I slightly skimmed our lips together, before crashing my mouth to his. I gently, but forcefully leaned Merlin back onto the grass. I could taste tears, but I didn't know who they belonged to.

Time seemed to pass slowly as the we groped and pulled at each other, unable to get close enough. The sounds of panting and frantic kissing echoed around us and our shirts found themselves cast away and forgotten wherever they may have landed. "Merlin?" I moaned his name in a questioning way in between kisses I trailed down his neck and shoulder before returning to his mouth.

His hands pulled my face away from his, long enough to get out the words, "You don't need to ask." He moaned again as my lips fell down to his chest. Kissing and nipping at the muscles all the way down his pale stomach.

Working off both my pants and Merlin's was tedious and lacked the physically contact we were both starving for. As I kissed my way up Merlin's legs, all around where he was hard, but refusing to give him what he wanted just yet. We both moaned at the contact of our bodies, both naked, pressed against each other and I kissed his mouth once again. I would never be able to do it enough.

I kissed every part of Merlin I could reach while reaching my hand around him and slowly stroking him; up and down, up and down. He shivered beneath me and let out strangled sounds of pleasure, only making me increase the pace.

Our tongues and lips explored each other until Merlin arched his back and cried out, "Arthur, please. Please. I need you.."

I didn't need to be told twice. Slowly I inserted two fingers into Merlin. If he felt anything but pleasure it didn't show. I shoved into him quickly and he arched up to me, shoving me deeper. I let out a long involuntary moan, and shivered as he ran his fingers lightly down my chest.

I twisted my fingered through the short hair on the back of Merlin's head against the ground. Continuing the steady pounding into him, our breathing was in unison. Wrapping my hand around his erection once again, I pumped up and down to the same rhythm and reveled in the sounds that came from the beautiful boy beneath me.

With all the women I'd been with before, I found sex to be tiring, and never fulfilling, but every time my name escaped his lips, a new energy and happiness I'd never experienced filled me. I saw specks of gold fill his heartwarming eyes as I pulled him closer.

Everything seemed to speed up and become a blur. My head spun with emotions for Merlin. There were so many things I wanted to confide in him. I saw everything there would be for us when I was with him in that moment,

I couldn't hold out much longer, all I wanted to do was spill into him, and hold one another until the sun rose. But I wouldn't be first, I couldn't allowed it. Tearing out lips apart, I heard Merlin groan in protest. I'm sure he could hear the smirk in my voice when I whispered into his ear, "Come for me."

And it worked.

Then Merlin taking control, even though still pinned underneath me, grabbed both sides of my face and kissed me harshly. Pulling away only enough, to bite my bottom lip. Moving fast, and in sync with me, I poured into him.

Sometime later my head was laying in the crook of Merlin's shoulder with my arms wrapped tightly around him. Our clothes laid over us, making up a blanket to shield us from the cool air. I was pleasantly drifting in and out of sleep, feeling more relaxed then I had in a long time.

Merlin's hand was gently running fingers through my hair. Listening to his heart beat calmed me. It was steady, and certain. He felt warm compared to the world around us. He felt like love.

And I wanted to know everything about him. Everything about his magic, and his life back where he grew up. Everything he thought about, and everything he did.

"Merlin?" I murmured into his chest.

"Yes, sire?" He said in a sleepy, dazed voice. I smiled that he called me that without thinking. For some reason, I found it adorable.

"Can you tell me about magic?" His heart sped up a bit, but he didn't move. I held him tighter anyway.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything. How did you learn it? Did Will teach you?" To my surprise Merlin laughed.

"No. Will didn't teach me," he said through his laughter. Then it hit me. Will never practiced magic. He died protecting not only me, but Merlin as well.

And I tensed the idea that he had been protecting Merlin from me. "Hey, it's okay. You just weren't ready to know yet." I smiled again at him knowing what I'm thinking. He paused for a minute before he continued, "And no one ever taught me magic. I was born with it." Then as an after thought he added, "The spells I had to learn from books, though."

I just nodded, letting his answers sink in. "What's it like? Using magic," I peered up at him. His eyes were closed, but he smiled.

"It's the second best feeling in the world." I felt my eye brows draw together, and I stared at him.

"What's the first?" I tried to make my voice nonchalant.

His smile widened to take up his entire face. Slitting his eyes open he looked down at me, and I felt myself turn red. "Sex with you."

We couldn't help it. We burst out laughing uncontrollable. Our entire bodies shaking, we laughed and held each other through one of the happiest nights of my life.

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